Haven't written anything in a while. I struggle with not knowing if my thoughts are valuable enough to write about. I need to learn to just record my day so that I have a record to look back on. I'll eventually get the hang of this. In the mean time:
The last couple of days have been a blur. Today I took a test that covered a lot of material that was completely schizophrenic in its content (I have learned to expect nothing less of nursing school). The problem with studying was that I also had to work 3 days in a row this weekend (12 1/2 hr shifts). I unfortunately paid the price on the exam. Such is life.
Work was interesting. Friday I had a crazy workload of 6 really needy pts. The floor was insane and everyone was pushed to their breaking point. There was a verbal altercation between two staff...in some ways it is nice to know that everyone is suffering and it isn't just an inability to cope on my part (misery loves company?).
After not leaving until an hour and a half after my shift was supposed to end (I was behind on my charting), I decided to request a one to one. These can be boring, or just downright awful depending on the nature of the pt, but you are at least gauranteed to get out on time. Saturday's pt was a 52 yr old male with Down's syndrome who has been hospitalized for two months. He normally lives in a group home and is extremely homesick. He spent the majority of the shift hitting, yelling and trying to pull out his percutaneous feeding tube- this would be incredibly painful and probably require surgical repair or at least reinsertion. There wasn't alot of studying going on.
Sunday I took care of the roomate of saturday's pt. This 60 something yr old male was developmentally disabled (profoundly retarded and almost completely nonverbal). His daily activity was really quite remarkable and offered me a little time to ponder some things. If he was left alone to do nothing for even a matter of seconds he would begin digging at his skin, pulling at his Foley catheter or digging in his bottom (yeah, I get it- pretty gross). But if he was given something to keep his hands occupied he would stay busy for hours. He had bags of large colored legos, dominos and other blocks. I would give him a bag and he would slowly (literally almost like a sloth), meticulously take out each piece and organize it on the table. It doesn't sound that impressive but watching him was almost hypnotic. He was so slow and so precise. If given blocks he didn't stack or build. He would just arrange by color and row...slowly, very slowly..and in perfect alignment. You would have to see it. Watching him made me question the pace at which we move. It also brought me so much joy watching him complete simple tasks that brought him pleasure. I think this may be how God views humanity.
I have never felt a calling to work with the developmentally disabled. I know that I don't have the required patience or nuturing dispositon. But I really found the experience thought provoking. Working with these two pts really offered me a fresh perspective.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Random Randomness
1.Why do we treat politics like reality tv?
It seems as though intellegence, good decision making and the ability to effectively run a government are not enough to get a person elected anymore (maybe it never was?). Now you gotta have money and alot of it and be charismatic. If you can't get your point across in a witty sound bite, it isn't a valuable idea. Seems like Americans get the government we deserve...yikes.
2.Why do people blame the bad behavior of chrisitians on God?
What on earth does God have to do with people behaving badly, even if they are doing it in his name? I mean, if I peed on your garden gate and told you some guy named Chuck told me to do it, you wouldn't deny the existance of Chuck or even blame him for that matter. I have met so many people who didn't like what they encountered in church so they stopped going, stopped worshiping or even stopped believing...I don't get it.
3.Medicine is screwed up from top to bottom.
I really do mean top to bottom. We complain about our healthcare system but the fault may lie most on the consumer. People expect to get great healthcare but don't seem to care about their health until they get sick. Death panels seem like a better and better idea all the time.
That's all I got for now...might just make Random Randomness a regular thing.
It seems as though intellegence, good decision making and the ability to effectively run a government are not enough to get a person elected anymore (maybe it never was?). Now you gotta have money and alot of it and be charismatic. If you can't get your point across in a witty sound bite, it isn't a valuable idea. Seems like Americans get the government we deserve...yikes.
2.Why do people blame the bad behavior of chrisitians on God?
What on earth does God have to do with people behaving badly, even if they are doing it in his name? I mean, if I peed on your garden gate and told you some guy named Chuck told me to do it, you wouldn't deny the existance of Chuck or even blame him for that matter. I have met so many people who didn't like what they encountered in church so they stopped going, stopped worshiping or even stopped believing...I don't get it.
3.Medicine is screwed up from top to bottom.
I really do mean top to bottom. We complain about our healthcare system but the fault may lie most on the consumer. People expect to get great healthcare but don't seem to care about their health until they get sick. Death panels seem like a better and better idea all the time.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Are You In or Out? (or Katy Perry, Ecclesiastes and How Heaven and Hell are Really the Same Place)
Ecclesiastes 1:2
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"
When I was a kid all I wanted was to be a grown up. When I was single all I wanted was to be in a relationship. In high school, the concept of college seemed awesome (and pretty much was). When I was in college we talked about life after college as "the real world," as if we were living in some place that only existed in our collective imagination (and we pretty much were). After college I married Jenna and took a job as a carpenter. The "real world" was a harsh reality and my Dad lied: a hard day of work really can kill you (just ask all the ER docs that put me back together on a semi-regular basis). Waking up to a daily back ache and realizing my meager paycheck was never going to get much bigger started me thinking about a career change. Now I'm in nursing school, soon to graduate with a second bachelor's and looking forward to grad school and another career. Where does it end?
How many kids are enough (or too many)? How much money is enough (or again, too much)? What makes you happy...I mean really happy? What will sustain you? There is some comfort in knowing I'm not alone. People everywhere, and I really do mean everywhere are striving for the next thing. Fat people want to be skinny...skinny people want to be tan...poor want to be rich...rich want to be richer...people in other countries are dying to be U.S. citizens, people here dream of escaping to a foreign locale with a more layed back lifestyle....
This is what we call the "rat race," right? The answer to our dilema is that achievement doesn't satisfy. When we get the thing that we were going after, we realize that it isn't what will make us happy and we begin to look for the next conquest....that next great pursuit that will fulfill us.
So the obvious answer is to just stop, right? Sit back for a minute and realize that the thing you are after won't make you happy, then learn to appreciate what you have and that is all you need to achieve true peace, joy, happiness, fulfillment, shalom....whatever word you like.
But wait a minute. What about the concept of using your talents? Remember that parable about the master, the servants, and the talents? Wouldn't exiting the rat race be the biblical equivalent of burying your talents and waiting for the master to return?
Today in church the speaker explored this concept and loosely tied it all together with the book of Ecclesiastes. The analogy he used was comical but poignant: What would happen if Wile E. Coyote caught the Road Runner? He discussed an internet video of the coyotee's life after the catch...not pretty (just a warning here...I would have posted the video, but it's pretty profane-Google at your own risk). Okay, back to Ecclesiastes: "Meaningless! Meaningless!" The wisest, richest man to ever live used all his resources and this is what he came up with?! Wow, uplifting.
Of course it isn't all meaningless is it? Quite the opposite really...it all has meaning. We just need to understand that without God there is no meaning. Without love, God isn't in it. Heaven and Hell may or may not be places, but they certainly are states of being....And as if to drive the point home even more, we are on our way home from church and Katy Perry comes on the radio: "You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes....." I just smiled and took in the February sunshine.
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"
When I was a kid all I wanted was to be a grown up. When I was single all I wanted was to be in a relationship. In high school, the concept of college seemed awesome (and pretty much was). When I was in college we talked about life after college as "the real world," as if we were living in some place that only existed in our collective imagination (and we pretty much were). After college I married Jenna and took a job as a carpenter. The "real world" was a harsh reality and my Dad lied: a hard day of work really can kill you (just ask all the ER docs that put me back together on a semi-regular basis). Waking up to a daily back ache and realizing my meager paycheck was never going to get much bigger started me thinking about a career change. Now I'm in nursing school, soon to graduate with a second bachelor's and looking forward to grad school and another career. Where does it end?
How many kids are enough (or too many)? How much money is enough (or again, too much)? What makes you happy...I mean really happy? What will sustain you? There is some comfort in knowing I'm not alone. People everywhere, and I really do mean everywhere are striving for the next thing. Fat people want to be skinny...skinny people want to be tan...poor want to be rich...rich want to be richer...people in other countries are dying to be U.S. citizens, people here dream of escaping to a foreign locale with a more layed back lifestyle....
This is what we call the "rat race," right? The answer to our dilema is that achievement doesn't satisfy. When we get the thing that we were going after, we realize that it isn't what will make us happy and we begin to look for the next conquest....that next great pursuit that will fulfill us.
So the obvious answer is to just stop, right? Sit back for a minute and realize that the thing you are after won't make you happy, then learn to appreciate what you have and that is all you need to achieve true peace, joy, happiness, fulfillment, shalom....whatever word you like.
But wait a minute. What about the concept of using your talents? Remember that parable about the master, the servants, and the talents? Wouldn't exiting the rat race be the biblical equivalent of burying your talents and waiting for the master to return?
Today in church the speaker explored this concept and loosely tied it all together with the book of Ecclesiastes. The analogy he used was comical but poignant: What would happen if Wile E. Coyote caught the Road Runner? He discussed an internet video of the coyotee's life after the catch...not pretty (just a warning here...I would have posted the video, but it's pretty profane-Google at your own risk). Okay, back to Ecclesiastes: "Meaningless! Meaningless!" The wisest, richest man to ever live used all his resources and this is what he came up with?! Wow, uplifting.
Of course it isn't all meaningless is it? Quite the opposite really...it all has meaning. We just need to understand that without God there is no meaning. Without love, God isn't in it. Heaven and Hell may or may not be places, but they certainly are states of being....And as if to drive the point home even more, we are on our way home from church and Katy Perry comes on the radio: "You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes....." I just smiled and took in the February sunshine.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Med-surg
Today was a clinical day. Right now I'm in my first med-surg rotation. The floor I'm stationed on is 6 North, which is a progressive cardiac floor. The patients almost all have heart issues, including heart failure, but also present with MMPs (med speak for multiple medical problems).
The lessons of this rotation are many, but primarily the point being driven home lately is that the vast majority of illness is self induced. One key word that you hear alot on this floor is "comorbidity". When an organ or body system such as your heart/ cardiovascular system goes south, it is often (not always, but often) a result of neglect. The neglect that ruins your heart, lack of exercise or poor diet, almost always takes its toll on other systems as well. Hence, congestive heart failure often presents with diabetes mellitus, hypertension, coronary artery disease, renal insufficiency and so on.
Now as part of my nature, I am continually drawing parallels...looking for analogies. Nursing has offered me so many oportunities to indulge this habit (my poor wife and family). But don't worry, I'm not gonna stop any time soon. So here goes...a little pathophys lesson straight into a sermon from Rob Bell.
Hypertension (high blood pressure) stresses the heart. The heart is forced to pump against more pressure in the system which wears out the muscle (congestive heart failure). The damaged heart muscle is unable to adequately pump blood (and the oxygen it carries) to the rest of of the organs. The lungs retain fluid, the kidneys fail and so on. Okay, okay...so here is the amazing analogy: WE ARE INTEGRATED BEINGS! (Insert the sound of crickets chirping here).
Ahem...I said, WE ARE INTEGRATED BEINGS!....(still no response).
Okay, so this may not be a revolutionary new idea, but the point is that just like our organs, every area of our lives is interconnected. When we neglect the physical, the emotional suffers. Decide to experiment with sin in one little area of your life and you might just physically suffer. Don't get enough sleep and pay the price at work. I can go on, but you get the point.
In the interest of keeping this post managable I am not going to fully explore this concept, but I am going to close with some related questions. Things that I wonder about: Can you choose to not take care of your body but still call yourself a good christian? Seriously, why are there so many fat televangelists?! I know that the body needs the soul, but doesn't it then stand to reason that our soul needs its body? Rob Bell has a whole sermon on how heaven won't be made right until all the bodies can join the souls...weird and cool concept. Anyway, just stuff I'm thinking about. This body needs its rest...Good night.
The lessons of this rotation are many, but primarily the point being driven home lately is that the vast majority of illness is self induced. One key word that you hear alot on this floor is "comorbidity". When an organ or body system such as your heart/ cardiovascular system goes south, it is often (not always, but often) a result of neglect. The neglect that ruins your heart, lack of exercise or poor diet, almost always takes its toll on other systems as well. Hence, congestive heart failure often presents with diabetes mellitus, hypertension, coronary artery disease, renal insufficiency and so on.
Now as part of my nature, I am continually drawing parallels...looking for analogies. Nursing has offered me so many oportunities to indulge this habit (my poor wife and family). But don't worry, I'm not gonna stop any time soon. So here goes...a little pathophys lesson straight into a sermon from Rob Bell.
Hypertension (high blood pressure) stresses the heart. The heart is forced to pump against more pressure in the system which wears out the muscle (congestive heart failure). The damaged heart muscle is unable to adequately pump blood (and the oxygen it carries) to the rest of of the organs. The lungs retain fluid, the kidneys fail and so on. Okay, okay...so here is the amazing analogy: WE ARE INTEGRATED BEINGS! (Insert the sound of crickets chirping here).
Ahem...I said, WE ARE INTEGRATED BEINGS!....(still no response).
Okay, so this may not be a revolutionary new idea, but the point is that just like our organs, every area of our lives is interconnected. When we neglect the physical, the emotional suffers. Decide to experiment with sin in one little area of your life and you might just physically suffer. Don't get enough sleep and pay the price at work. I can go on, but you get the point.
In the interest of keeping this post managable I am not going to fully explore this concept, but I am going to close with some related questions. Things that I wonder about: Can you choose to not take care of your body but still call yourself a good christian? Seriously, why are there so many fat televangelists?! I know that the body needs the soul, but doesn't it then stand to reason that our soul needs its body? Rob Bell has a whole sermon on how heaven won't be made right until all the bodies can join the souls...weird and cool concept. Anyway, just stuff I'm thinking about. This body needs its rest...Good night.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Significant Others
At the end of the day almost as a matter of ritual, the kids put to sleep, I find myself drained sitting on the couch staring blankly at the television or computer screen. In these times it is easy to look back and see the day as packed full of meaningless nonsense. But this isn't true. Not for me, not for any of us. The truth is, meaning occurs whether we recognize it or not. Signifant events in my day-to-day have gone unrecognized and unrecorded for for far to long but today it all stops. Today I look back and realize just how full my day was...Today:
1. I woke at the crack of dawn, made two lunches and placed them neatly in metal lunch boxes, kissed my lovely bride goodbye and scurried out into a blisteringly cold dawn. Arriving at school, I promptly got my emotions in check and proceeded to pass my urinary catheterization test-out with ease (perhaps this seems insignificant to some, but I assure you if you don't get it, you are not a member of the chosen few of the Grand Valley nursing program).
2. Several times throughout the course of the day, I found myself spontaneously crying for a friend that I haven't seen in years. I went to Spring Arbor with Chad Cole who lost his wife in a car accident this past weekend. Sarah was pregnant with their first child, a gorgeous baby girl, who was later delivered after the accident and is now on life support. Chad is left to pick up the pieces and everyone who has heard about the story is left broken and speechless....both on Chad's behalf and at the thought of how close to the edge we all live.
3. Today I returned home to Ryan, my youngest, grinning from ear to ear and hardly able to contain himself because he lost his first tooth. Telling me all about how he was going too fast on his sled at recess his infectious smile became an outright giggle that would not be contained.
Now here I sit on my couch...perhaps looking back, the day was a little more full than it seemed. After all, I am living La Vida Strodtbeck.
1. I woke at the crack of dawn, made two lunches and placed them neatly in metal lunch boxes, kissed my lovely bride goodbye and scurried out into a blisteringly cold dawn. Arriving at school, I promptly got my emotions in check and proceeded to pass my urinary catheterization test-out with ease (perhaps this seems insignificant to some, but I assure you if you don't get it, you are not a member of the chosen few of the Grand Valley nursing program).
2. Several times throughout the course of the day, I found myself spontaneously crying for a friend that I haven't seen in years. I went to Spring Arbor with Chad Cole who lost his wife in a car accident this past weekend. Sarah was pregnant with their first child, a gorgeous baby girl, who was later delivered after the accident and is now on life support. Chad is left to pick up the pieces and everyone who has heard about the story is left broken and speechless....both on Chad's behalf and at the thought of how close to the edge we all live.
3. Today I returned home to Ryan, my youngest, grinning from ear to ear and hardly able to contain himself because he lost his first tooth. Telling me all about how he was going too fast on his sled at recess his infectious smile became an outright giggle that would not be contained.
In the Beginning
I have been wanting to start a blog for a very long time but the timing never seemed right. When is a good time to start? The new year, a birthday or milestone?....truthfully, I am a procrastinator and a busy one at that. But today, today will be the day. The purpose of this blog is simply to record those events in my life that seem significant enough to want to remember and to put topics and thoughts out there for some discussion (for whoever might be crazy enough to read this) that I have been wrestling with. So without further adieu...Welcome to La Vida Strodtbeck.
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